Thrive

Have you noticed how we don’t make a move or a change in our lives until things get really, and I mean REALLY bad for us? We sit on a spike and we don’t move from that place until we start bleeding so badly that our life is at stake. 

Why is that? We see that everywhere around us, be it at the work place, in relationships, when it comes to our health and wellbeing, and so on. We sit in that place that some like to call “comfort zone” - well, in my opinion that cannot be a comfort zone, because comfort for me is a state of relaxation and wellbeing. Let’s call it in that place of fear. But fear of what? Fear of failure? Fear of making things worse than they are? Or is it fear of success? Are we afraid that if we reach a certain level of success our whole lives will change and that will put us in different, unknown situations? I think I can check them all, I lived all of the above, and I noticed that until I made a real and serious decision, nothing in my life changed. And I mean nothing. People around us can make us smile, can make us laugh, can even put us out of our comfort zones, but you know what they can’t do? Make us 100% happy. That’s our own job. We ask so much from the people around us.. to make us feel butterflies in our tummies, to make us laugh as often as possible, to help us be optimistic, to help us be calm, to guide us, to give us strength, to give us certainty. I know, the easiest places to look for all of those is on the outside. But that’s not the real place that will fulfil us. We think they have the things we need, and when they don’t give us what we need, we blame them. Oh how much we blame them.. 

If you could compare this behaviour to that of someone, to whom would you compare it to? The first thing that comes to my mind is a child, a little one that is dependent on an adult. Can you take a step backwards and look at this honestly. If someone (that isn’t a child) would depend on you like that (maybe someone already does), wouldn’t it freak you out (or doesn’t it freak you out)? Wouldn’t you feel a huge responsibility on your shoulders to make someone feel happy, joyful, in a great state all the time? 

Now let’s come back to us. Have you noticed how we play the victim card whenever there’s something bad going on with us internally, and how we place the guilt on the exterior? It’s the easiest thing to do, and sometimes it even makes us feel better to vent on the people around us. Those poor souls.. Don’t take this the wrong way, we do these things to each other all the time, and sometimes we even love it, we shortly recharge from it, and then we realise what we did, we feel sorry, and then we go on to feeling miserable all together. 

Now.. what if there’s another way. Let’s face it, we all know there is always another way, there’s always the kind way, the compassionate way. Compassionate towards yourself, towards your pain, and suffering that is pushing you to your limits. Compassion and love for your wounds that get a postponing rather than a healing. If you’re fair with yourself, do you think you were made to live a small life, a sad life, or were you made to thrive? I am so certain that ALL of us are made to thrive, to be successful, to be fulfilled, to be healthy, and live extraordinary lives. I believe we are born on this earth to grow, to expand our consciousness, to succeed, and to never give up. 

What can you do today to make a shift in your way of seeing things? I encourage you to write at least 3 things that you could do TODAY that will make small shifts in your life, and will bring you the joy that you were looking for in the exterior. You were looking in the wrong place. Look inside, it’s all there, it always was and always will be. Let yourself be guided to the answers, act out of love for yourself and for the others around, and find what inspires you, find the reason that propels you. Write it down today. Write it again tomorrow, and apply it. By all means write it down every day and repeat it in your mind, it will help you find your way so much quicker than you think. Nobody can show you the way that’s right for you, only you can discover that, so put your lab coat on, get curious and search within. Sending love and light.

A kaleidoscope of emotions

When you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? Are you content with what you see or not? Can you look yourself in the eye, say “hi” and smile, or is it too awkward? If it is, don’t beat yourself up about it, you’re not the only one. But as you and I know, the most important relationship in this life is between you and yourself. It sounds like a cliche, but it’s really not. People don’t really get to the bottom of this idea. 

What does that mean “a good relationship with yourself”? Well it means you being your own supporter, you thinking highly of yourself, you knowing you are part of a Higher power and that a divine flame burns in you. Well if a divine flame burns in you, that’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? It is freakin' awesome. It means you actually have it in you to do absolutely anything you desire to accomplish, it means you have the power to build yourself up every day, because - hey, you are gifted. And I’m not just saying that. Have you heard about the law of attraction? That stuff is real, it’s pure physics, what you think - you attract. If all you think of all day is how miserable your life is, how sad you are or how unwell you feel, or that depression never seems to leave your path, guess what? The universe confirms your ideas by giving you what you thought of. So what if, instead of thinking how awful everything is, you’d rather try to find the good parts in every situation? What if you’d focus on what goes well in your life? What if you’d be grateful for the handful of people that love you? Do you think the universe won’t hear you? Think again. What we think about amplifies. All.The.Time. You know those words that Genie from the lamp says: “your wish is my command”. That’s how the universe works as well. If you have pure beautiful happy thoughts of gratitude for a moment, the happy moments will multiply. 

Do you know why people are always very happy when they have a new relationship? Because they are living in the now and they aren’t looking for things their partner cannot offer them. Once they start going on that path, one thought after the other turns into an avalanche that makes them push their partners away. If only we would focus on what’s available, instead of looking for what isn’t there, our minds would be at peace. It can start with us. Instead of blaming yourself for not being beautiful enough, tall enough, smart enough, fit enough, try looking for the positive things. For starter: that you’re enough. Beautiful enough, smart enough, and so on. Maybe you took a bad grade, that doesn’t make you any less smart than you are. Maybe your face exploded with pimples, that doesn’t make you any less beautiful. Maybe your friends don’t pay you compliments, that doesn’t mean you aren’t special or important. 

You know, all of us need to feel significant. We need people to acknowledge us, and sometimes we would do anything to get people’s approval, even if that means hurting ourselves. I’m gonna ask you this: what if you would never have their approval, no matter what you would do, would you still fight for it? Would you still think it’s worth it? Ultimately why do we crave for people’s approval? Why do we think we’re nothing if our friends or family don’t make us feel important? Why don’t we know already that we are important? Let’s check again the phrase we agreed on at the beginning: we all have a divine spark inside of us - that makes us awesome, and powerful. If we are awesome and powerful, why do we need recognition from other people? Because we are social people, and we need connection, but sometimes we overlap that with our constant need of reassurance that we’re great. And instead of us giving that to ourselves, we expect to hear it from others. You see, people these days are so busy overthinking about their own lives, that they forget to pay a compliment, or say a nice thing. They forget a hug could be much needed, or even just a simple “hi, how are you?”. Or some practice the ever so fashionable projections of self on others – i guess that never goes out of style. However, at the end of the day, if nobody had a moment for us, to make us feel at least a tiny little bit important, we go home and pity ourselves, and lay in bed uncompensated, feeling alone and unloved. 

You need to know there is another way. You can fill your own tank, it is crucial to learn that, and not to expect others to fill it for you. Imagine 2 instances: 1 person feeling depressed, going to meet his friends so that they will cheer him up. Another person that fills his own tank with joy, and is able to make his own day rock, and maybe even bring sunshine to others. Yea, I’d go with option 2. I think being an enthusiast in life is key. 

So how can you fill your own tank? Have you ever thought “I wish that person would tell me these words:....” or “I wish they would’ve showed more love/care/compassion/forgiveness/happiness”, etc? I’m sure you did. What if i would tell you that at the end of the day when you feel all drained, you can close your eyes and give all those gifts to yourself? What if you would realise that it’s not about the others, it’s about you - how you perceive the world around you is gonna change your life completely. 

If you decide today that you wanna be strong, wholehearted, full of love, with a high self esteem - close your eyes and breathe them in, decide to be that, make an intention. It all starts there, with a desire and a decision. With the passion of (example) I am beautiful. And every time you feel your heart without that feeling, refuel it, and say it again, feel it in your chest and let it travel your body. 

The only person who needs to believe in you is yourself. All the rest play their own roles. But you have the main role in your story, don’t delegate it to someone else, don’t expect people to compliment you, compliment yourself. If you find something nice about yourself, write it down, tomorrow find another one to write down, and you’ll see, the more you look for the good, the more good you’ll find.